Lost friends

I had lunch in Circular Quay on Saturday.

How Circular Quay once looked.

How it looks now (kinda, not the best photo but I got jacked with looking for something better).

A photo I wish I could have taken... Sydney has many moods.

I met up with my bestest ever friend, who happens to have not lived in Australia for about ten years now.

I have never been one for a large group of friends... just a few very close ones. But in my adult years I seem to be developing a trend. Of my three closest friends over the last ten years, one moved to the US, one moved to the UK, and one has just moved to Perth, which, at 4000 km away from Sydney, is about as far away as you can get without actually going overseas.

My friend that I met on Saturday has made the US his home. Well, sort of. He went there to study, married, has had children, but has a career that sees the family moving around the US and Europe. No, he isn't a drug baron or anything like that. It is all perfectly legitimate.

Anyway, I haven't seen him since before I was married. He brought his girlfriend (now wife) back to Australia for a holiday just as my now-ex and I were getting serious. It was really nice to get a chance for all of us to meet, but our contact since has been sporadic. When I broke my leg last year, he suggested we stay in touch via Yahoo, as I'd be home and the time difference wouldn't be as big a problem, and so we had a chance to finally catch up again more consistently.

But I was in for a shock on Saturday. I had seen recent photos, so knew what both he and his wife looked like these days (which is pretty much the same as before... wish I could say the same!!) but when he spoke... well, this strange voice came out. The last time we had actually SPOKEN was years and years ago... and he now has quite a strong American accent, which just sounded so funny that I laughed. What? they asked. Which just made me laugh more.

It was a very pleasant afternoon. We ate lunch, watched the tourists, chatted about what we were doing with our lives, chatted about silly things, like the strange shoes people wear. I tried very hard to not fall into the 'remember whens...' because I didn't want to be rude to my friend's wife. And also, I suppose, even though it was wonderful to see them, I know that they will be leaving again in a few weeks, and then I'll have to let him go all over again.

When he left last time, it was very hard to see my closest friend leave. We met as we were both working at a pizza place, him, to support his studies... me, as a second job to support my lifestyle. We just fell into a comfortable banter, and had a common love of films, so we would go to the movies each week and watch videos till dawn. There was never a physical attraction for either of us. He was very shy around girls, and would tease me because I was going through a fairly active social stage. He helped me through some really ugly experiences, and I always knew that even if I was a complete mess, he wouldn't judge me, he'd just treat me like I was me. He seemed to have some faith in me that I was worthwhile. Don't get me wrong, he takes the mickey out of me at any opportunity, but it is never spiteful. Our friendship was what I imagine having a brother would be like.

I'm at a strange place in my life... very detached. Most of my friends have moved to new cities, to new lives. My marriage imploded. I'm no longer working for any one particular company. I've had to give up horseriding because of finances. My family has always been distant... we are there for each other if we are needed, but we can go weeks and months without speaking. So there is nothing grounding me at the moment. The things that used to define me are no longer there. It could be scary... but it also could be an opportunity for self discovery.

Rambling again... I must get some sleep.

Till next time.